Normally, I’d call myself chill and laid back. I wasn’t the best student, nor was I the worst – I’ve always sat in the middle of the pack, which I was completely fine with. This year, however, was different. Eleventh grade was when grades actually mattered for post-secondary, so I’ve been a lot more critical of myself. This was especially evident in Creative Writing 11.
Writing has been a staple hobby since elementary school, so I’ve already set high standards for myself. In this class, however, I pushed myself even further. I wanted every piece I handed in to be the best product I could produce. With this mindset, my inner perfectionist completely took over – I would hand in my stories a month late to get every detail right. It became an issue when I began scrapping weeks’ worth of work to start from square one – all because I thought my writing “wasn’t going anywhere.” Lately, I’ve been taking a step back and telling myself that something needs to change. Not only were my grades slipping because I took so long to hand in assignments, but my mental health was also deteriorating, with so much pressure I put on myself. With this realization, I’ve tried a new method for writing: typing an imperfect first draft before cleaning it up after I’m done. This was extremely difficult for me – I was used to getting everything perfect on the first write. Even though it’s still a struggle for me today, my progress is speeding up!
I’m still working hard to get this habit through my thick skull, but this is a good example of the “Personal Awareness and Responsibility” competency.